Five Unusual Things To Do On A Treadmill

If you could take a pill which gave you all the benefits of running without having to actually go out and do a run, would you still go running? I like to think that I’d still go running outside, but I know for sure that I would never, ever set foot on a treadmill, ever again. Ever.

For me, it’s a terrible experience often delivered in a gym which is too hot, full of unnatural strip lights and mirrors which give you a full and constant view of your own confused and often pained face for the entire run. The surroundings are about as dull as they can come and never change (no matter how fast you run) and what’s worse, you have to spend the entire time next to strangers who aren’t even exercising in a manner which you consider ‘proper’ – you’re sure that they are questioning your running style in their tiny, tiny brains. Idiots. Okay, relax, let’s forget about them and instead think of how you can have as much fun as these guys on a treadmill:


1. Dancing: 

Yeah – that’s right, do a dance. That’ll show everyone. If you cracked this out in a gym I could only assume that you’d get free life time membership and at least two medals, awesome:

2. Play it cool:

If you run on a treadmill enough you will probably look a fool at some point, you’ll trip yourself up a bit or run into the front or something. But if you do, the important thing is to play it cool and pretend it never happened:

3. Use it for something else

If you’ve done the unthinkable and actually bought a treadmill, it won’t be long before you realise that it’s a horrific contraption – but just before you put it on gumtree you’ll spend a couple of weeks thinking up other things you can do with it besides running:


4. Make someone else run on it:

Watching someone else run on a treadmill is probably even more boring than running on one yourself. But obviously introducing animals (even a shrimp!) suddenly makes it well worthwhile:


5. Words fail me:

Good night.

About Simon 126 Articles
Avid runner, cyclist and judoka.